Also, for one last time, Frank is having a big night out! You can join him and his friends for one last time :
DATE: Thursday, 8 July 2010
TIME: 19:00-22:00
LOCATION: Castlefield Arena – Hyundai Fan Village, Liverpool Road, Castlefield, Manchester, M3 4JR
INFORMATION: www.radiotimperley.com/franks-fantastic-send-off-information/

The set list so far :

John Cooper Clarke! He had some awesome friends!

For our readers from outside the UK who have not yet discovered the amazing alternate reality of Frank Sidebottom should check out some his works

Also, I am thinking of posting up the ultra rare vinyl the Timperley EP by Frank on his own record label. So awesome is this record and it’s various cover versions of classics, done in a Timperley styley. Leave comments if you wanna hear that!

“And the new genre’s grandfather was Salem, born in the depths of history, three-score months ago.

“And there were other bands in the drag family, Balam Acab, White Ring and oOoOO.

“And Lo! The Guardian’s hallowed music pages did write a piece on the new genre. But the hallowed pages neglected both the finest and most evil of the whole drag family; Mater Suspiria Vision…”

“Mater Suspiria Vision did name their mighty works with titles like Seduction Of The Armageddon Witches and Evil House Of Forbiddden Fruits and Haunted House Of LSD.

“And they did use videomonger Cosmotropia de Xam to create psychedelic videos of fuzziness, terror and isolation. And so it came to pass that all did believe that Mater Suspiria Vision had spent their youth watching exploitation-horror movies.

“(Although this humble scribe does not have proof of this.)

“(But using Suspiria in their name does kind of hint that they love Seventies Euro-horror.)

“Yea.”

Tristan Perich’s 1-Bit Symphony is an electronic composition in five movements on a single microchip. Though housed in a CD jewel case, 1-Bit Symphony is not a recording in the traditional sense; it literally “performs” its music live when turned on. A complete electronic circuit—programmed by the artist and assembled by hand—plays the music through a headphone jack mounted into the case itself.

Getchy’own! http://bangonacan.org/store/product/181

More info:

Cantaloupe Music: http://www.cantaloupemusic.com

1-Bit Symphony: http://www.1bitsymphony.com

Tristan Perich: http://www.tristanperich.com

This long-awaited follow-up, imaginatively entitled Crystal Castles (II), will therefore have to be better than a three-day-orgy with the female cast of Firefly to match my expectations.

So it’s no surprise that after five listens through, it hasn’t really beaten my brain to an adoring pulp yet. And even the last Crystal Castles album had some growers, like Knights, which took a while to show past the more obvious charms of tracks like Xxzxcuzx Me and Courtship Dating. That I’ve made it to five listens through is a pretty good sign; I’m willing to believe that this album may just need a bit more time to bed in than the debut.

Anyway, in the name of procrastination I hereby give you an unneccessary track-by-track run down of Crystal Castles II:

1. Fainting Spells: Harsh, fuzzy, childish, kind of like an imminent death at the hand of a possessed doll in a horror film.

2. Celestine: Airy, poppy, Scandinavian.

3. Doe Deer: Metronomy at their most circus-like, but with more screaming.

4. Baptism: Trad-euphoric club music, with more bleeping. And shouting/screaming. Noticing a pattern here? Not that screaming vocals are a bad thing, natch.

5. Year of Silence: Decent twinkly album-filler. Meh.

6. Empathy: More like autism, surely?

7. Suffocation: Deliciously suffocating highs and breathlessy gentle troughs.

8. Violent Dreams: Wow. OK, maybe I was  wrong. This is very, very good. Throbbing and disconcerting.

9. Vietnam: Familiar. Fun.

10. Birds: Birds with laser beam eyes are coming to get you.

11. Pap Smear: When I first saw The Naked Gun, I had no idea what a Pap Smear was, and so missed one of the weakest jokes in the movie.

12. Not In Love: Alvin and the Chipmunks on acid. Ah, the old cliches are the best. Really. Follow this TMWRNJ / Lee and Herring youtube link and you’ll notice every time a comedian uses that exact gag – that is, all the time. And then notice that you’re still laughing anyway.

13. Intimate: A former workmate’s friend once got intimate with a kebab and then spent the next day in the bath trying to soothe her privates. If you’re planning to fuck a donner, don’t get the hot chilli sauce. Or the mild sauce. Or just don’t fuck a mixture of random processed animal carcass in the first place. Fucksake!

14. I Am Made Of Chalk: If Boards of Canada and Christ. had been assimilated by the Borg, and if the Borg were dolphins.

The Digital Economy bill, irrespective of what is included or not, clause 88, clause 43, or any other clause, is a travesty to the potential of this country.  The backlash on Twitter with #debill and elsewhere with various sites, services, mail your MP widgets and everything else isn’t so much a bunch of noisy digital economy workers, but a real wave of opinion that out of touch MP’s have pretty much ignored, at their own peril.

Hopefully this backlash can be harnessed for greater good, and used to bash the expense bungling MPs on the head.  What Guido Fawkes and his merry band of Catholic plotters didn’t finish off in 1605 should finally be brought to pass on a parliament not fit for purpose.  At least, finally, an election has been called after months of dithering by Gordon Brown and the chumps who sit with him at the Cabinet table to discuss the dissection of this once grand nation.

National borrowing sky rockets, whilst ministers bicker amongst themselves re: who will take the deepest cuts in departmental spending this coming parliament, and in the same breath they bend over and pucker up to the demands of big business, calling the protection of age old mechanisms to perpetually bleed, not just this country, but the entire world dry, for their own good.  So much for tapping into new medias, drawing on the curve of innovation and using that path as a means to explore and invent new channels that could be even more lucrative.

The notion that the world is being destroyed by thieving pirates is a ill-conceived one, and if law makers, in their self-interested state, think that by slapping the long arm of the law on your goodly friend, the pirate, is going to stop them, they would be sorely wrong.  It seems that such law changes only serve to steel the nerves of the merry band of reprobates.  The advent of the pirate party serves to prove this. While the introduction of anti-piracy measures in France amazingly brought about an increase in piracy.  And when the courts fill up? What next?  Fast-track summary justice for pirates?

The pirate party, whether you love it or hate it, at least gets newly criminalised youngsters involved in the  political process, something politicians seem incapable of doing with their empty rhetoric.  Laughably it is these very same fools that think by simply emulating a certain American president, by bringing about the “Obama-fication” of their campaigns, the simplistic minds of the electorate will fall for them and vote in hoards for 5 more years of the same old tralala.

Westminster might be the oldest seat of democracy, but it is also one that still lives in the past, where, once upon a time landed gents, with their own self-interests served no one bar themselves, and that didn’t bring any superior expertise or knowledge to the table.  This is a world where “Honorable Members” are increasingly out of touch with the world, the economy, and most importantly, with the innovation that drives it all.  Someone please tell these twits that money is not the driver in the equation, innovation is.

The Digital Economy bill ain’t quite in law yet, and pigs might fly for it not to reach the statute books, but don’t count on it.  If you are a digital start-up, technology entrepreneur, or even just someone who goes online, it’s time to start thinking about fucking off.  Oh, and by the way, don’t ever count on touching innovation in music, because the big boys will simply close you out and have you thrown behind bars.  Why shouldn’t they?  The law supports them now!

Apparently, 32 MPs who voted against #debill are standing in forthcoming general election let’s thank them.

The Sun came as something of an eye-opener for the teenage Gargleman, with its Dear Deirdre column and her photo casebook, though it did give me some strange ideas about sex (does everyone really wear a bra and panties during a threesome?). Then there was Viz’s Photo Stories, which weren’t advice, but were occasionally very funny.

Now, the internets have arrived and suddenly everyone has advice for you. Confused about life? Humiliate yourself at Yahoo Answers and sarcy little shits will explain your utter failure to you. Polyandrous/gay/into kinky shit (sometimes literally)? Dan Savage will give you often graphic advice that would make Dear Deirdre blush.

Need your advice in a musical format? Wondering where this post is going? Well, I just came across the lovely Rachel Zylstra’s Advice Music, which is kind of like Rebecca Mayes’ musical video games reviews, but with slightly less catchy songs. Which is weird considering Zylstra is an actual minor alt-pop-star. But it has got potential, for sure, especially if people start giving her more interesting problems to write songs about.

So – musical video game reviews: check. Musical problem pages: check. What’s next? Musical youtube party political broadcasts? What? The Greens did that back in 2006? God, I’m so out of the loop…

Go on, you must just get your wish!

Thanks to Quim Abella for the image

Well… another decade has passed, and here we are living full time in the future that is 2010. I can see that you all handled the change gracefully and are excited about the future! Well Done! Not everyone however has managed the transition. I recommend these individuals remain humbly quiet until they fully understand and master their necessary evolution. There will however be cases where people, frustrated with the change in their mediums decide instead to launch a public tirade, and try to change the world rather than themselves.

Case in point is the venerable DJ Shadow…

Gone are the recording studios (including the historically important Plant down the road from me in Sausalito), the record shops, and the music magazines. Replaced by the oh-so-cynical, oh-so-corrosive AM talk radio of the new millennium, the Internet.

Well, it’s always going to be tricky responding to that without sounding cynical or corrosive, especially considering that as it stands you are currently tuned into the corrosivynical AM talk radio of nomad.fm!

First of all, blogging on the internet that you dislike the web is like taking an advert out in the Times declaring “I hate Newspapers“. Worse than that, referring to the internet as an entity, as some kind of product is plain wrong, the internet is a network of people, people from all around the world, which someday will cover everybody.

To hate the internet is to hate people.

DJ Shadow continues,

But I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Chances are, you may have even been one of those majority who danced on the grave of the falling record companies, pointed to Radiohead giving their album away for free and said, “See, look, if they can do it, why can’t everyone else?” Slowly, I turn…

Let’s start with a bit of history…
I remember seeing DJ Shadow in the 90s as a support act for Radiohead.
Thom Yorke’s collaboration with James Lavelle and Shadow on the UNKLE project suddenly propelled Shadow into the spotlight of the public, and he took his bedroom project on the road for a tour. A rock tour. A Stadium rock tour.

Now, I only went to that concert to see Shadow perform as he had never toured MCR before, and as he stood onstage behind his turntables and sampler, attempting to warm up the crowd, people began to Boo.

You could barely see him, especially not his skills… to the rock crowd it was deeply underwhelming.

His live show was uninteresting as a performance, no thought had gone into it as a visual piece. It was a fantastic sound but aesthetically dull. Radiohead on other hand, put on a real live performance a full on visual assault. It is something in the visual make up of a group of individuals onstage working together to harmonise using instruments that visually excite and entertain, even if you happen to hate rock, you have to love a Rock show! It’s why the game DJ Hero is lame when compared to Guitar Hero.

Be it the visual language of knowing that when the drummer slams his sticks on the skins of his drum, we will all experience a beat, during which the drummer is in control of attention. With the rest of the band busy, they are all fighting for our focus and so we shift our attention from person to person. Often so much is happening at a live performance that you will miss things that you did not even realise.

Now… don’t think that I’m promoting joining a rock band, I saw Hip-Hop crews Dilated Peoples and Jungle Brothers both entertain large crowds on many occasions – it is in how you present the music. Buck 65 was incredible in a small venue, him alone scratching behind his decks whilst reading lyrics from his poetry book. In a large venue however, Buck brought his “backing band”, a four piece rock band hired to play the samples live. It sounded unrecognisable and was more distracting than entertaining – he had taken the live concept too far and lost what made his music great in the transition. Classical music is still so popular to watch live even today, as orchestras are so large and interesting…and entertaining. Live electronic music was originally pioneered by Hexstatic in the 90’s, who realised the importance of visual stimulation. Even DJ Shadow’s former band SoleSides (aka Quannum) were amazing on stage, completely alive with energy, and his battle sets with A-trak and Z-trip were awesome too! In essence live performances are only as successful as they are entertaining, but it is clear, that with some thought, all music can be entertaining live.

Let me be clear: I love music. I love the culture of music, making music, playing music, geeking out over music from the past and present. I love old record company stories, and the characters that inhabited it. In other words, I have learned to appreciate the merchants of commerce as well as the art. If you love movies or cars, chances are you can relate to what I’m describing. What would Hollywood be without the larger-than-life, audacious personalities behind the scenes? What would cars be like if there had never been Detroit?

Let me just stop you there…The Luddites famously destroyed the machines in factories to try and prevent changes in industry. Their short lived endeavour did not result in devolution, as the industry change was led by money via automated efficiency. These “merchants of commerce” ignored the Luddites and kick started the industrial revolution that influences our physical world up to this day.

American cars are not relevant in these eco-times…Japanese cars are much better suited to our modern lifestyles… Japanese music on the other hand sounds very dated to the American ear – similar to the 90s Detroit scene ironically… The car analogy is flawed as music is not a physical, touchable, visual object like a car is. If you really need an analogy, picture a giant jar of water used by a painter to clean their brushes in. The jar is clean at first, but as every stroke adds shade and every new painting adds colour, soon the jar is awash with colour. Eventually the jar changes to another entirely different colour, until finally the painter decides to wash it out and start fresh with clean water. Some artists prefer to start a piece with that dirty jar, almost a progression in their eyes, creating vividly different shades until the jar is murky, and creating diversely different art. Although the first painter would probably not like that art – the style and unconventional production.

Ironically, everything created with these jars is art. Just like every sound is a song.

So what if Detroit makes no new cars? I’m much more upset than New Orleans isn’t producing new music, being rebuilt and re-inspired to write and record music after the big hurricane all those years ago. Endtroducing was almost all sampled from Nolan sounds, and that was superb, why doesn’t shadow take the initiative and go over to New Orleans himself and hook up with some of the artists he sampled and some other favourites to write a sample free Nolan album. Not feeling that, he could sample some existing vintage sounds and get artists to jam over the top – taking a dirty jar with him as to speak. Then if he toured we would get to see some old legends and a kicking live set, and all that energy and money could go back into fixing up New Orleans.

The industry is not as pleasant as Shadow makes out, those “audacious characters” and people behind the scenes are not always good characters with oppressive luminaries such as Stock Aitken & Waterman, Ike Turner and Don King. These people alone have pushed numerous artists and individuals to try and free themselves from the shackles of  a monopolised, oppressive and chauvinistic industry. Independency some would say.

Every artist is entitled to their own price point, just as every consumer has a choice in what they purchase. Nobody puts a gun to someone’s head and says, “Hey, buy this Picasso for 20 million.” Likewise, if $9.99 is too much to spend for one of my albums, so be it, your choice.

Your choice? What if people cannot afford ten bucks for a CD? The DJ Shadow club is exclusive… $10 entry fee! You are not selling your Picasso, you are selling copies of it.

But if you’re holding your breath, waiting for me to boost my cool-quotient by giving my music away for free, it’s not going to happen. The fact is that I feel my music has value. You may disagree, and that’s fine. But I know how much energy I put into what I do, and how long it takes me to make something I’m satisfied with. Giving that away just feels wrong to me. It’s not about money per se; I can donate a large sum of money to charity and not think twice, but I won’t give my art away.

Sure, but music cannot be compared to fine art in that way. Music happens in an instance – you must be present by it to experience it. Once it has finished it has gone forever.

Recorded music on the other hand is different. This is an abstration of music, consider it a xeroxed copy of that Picasso. A carbon copy of the original, leaving the source intact and perfectly preserved. You can now go and enjoy Picasso wherever you are, just by looking at the picture in your pocket – removing the archaic and uneccessary need to go to the art gallery. You get to keep your picasso, and can even charge for the photocopy that everybody else is enjoying. Sure Picasso died a millionaire, but Van Gogh died penniless. You can blame the industry, not the art. If Van Gogh owned a photocopier he could have xeroxed his way to fame. Spare a thought for the graffitti painters… they work just as hard as musicians, don’t get paid and their work disappears forever within a few weeks.

I’d rather sell it to 100 people who value it as I do than give it away to 1000 who could care less. That’s MY choice.

Do that then. Quit complaining. Sell songs only through your website on CD’s that you have made yourself. Get to know your fans and let them buy special ‘fan only’ music and tell them when your next live performance is going to be. Don’t feel compelled to follow how the industry is changing – these changes are to empower the artist and the consumer together, rather than the labels and suits who realistically have no place in the world of music. Commerce yes, music, no. There are websites such as BandCamp.com that let you sell your music for whatever price you dictate, and as they are digital replications of your master original, it won’t ever cost you a penny. All you can do is stand to gain and not lose. Don’t think because it’s free its no good, check out dumbFoundDead for my pick of the week, they got talent!

You now all own your own fate!

What I am trying to put into words is that strange feeling when people you admire disappoint you by opposing your opinions, beliefs and understandings. Like learning that Jason Lee worships scientology or finding out that Phil Spektor was guilty all along… Heroes sure have a lot to answer for… And then there are those who push it too far; Prince suing his fans, Ozzy ‘Prince of Darkness’ Osbourne advertising World of Warcraft and other crap, O.J.Simpson writing the book and film, “If I did it, here’s how” and of course, the main protagonist in the tubes, ladies and gentlemen, introducing the drummer for Metallica and general instigator Lars Ulrich. He single handedly felt the compulsion to publically sue Napster as he genuinely believed that sales were being hurt and he was losing money. He was “doing it for the future generation of musicians” too, apparently, wanting to close the door to easily accessible music so that fans couldn’t just pirate every artists back catalogue for free. This was with no research, no understanding of the technology, no correspondence with his fans and no compassion for the individuals downloading, Lars took Napster to court. He won the case but left a bad taste in the mouths of the fans, forcing Napster to permanently close and thus began the culture of litigation against individuals, the most famous of which was suing 14 year old girls for trying to download nursery rhymes. And yes, he is still an unenlightened, self-interested, egomaniacal plonker who seems to think he managed to “fix” the “problem” (even though downloads are at an all time high). He is famously quoted as saying, “I’ll give away all my shit for free. But I’ll decide when and where and how”, which turned out to be nowhere and never for those still following the story. So sometimes it’s better to do a Tom Penny, dissapear from the limelight and go find out for yourself what is it that you really want from the industry, rather than doing a Ratner.

Shadow continues,

Whatever…what will be will be. As long as I breathe, I’ll make music, love music, support music. I used to get in fights at school to defend my right to listen to rap, and I’ll fight on against any institution or prevailing thinking that seeks to dictate to me how and when the music I make is to be disseminated. If there’s 50 of you, or 100, or more out there willing to accept my right to choose, as I accept yours, then welcome aboard…you are my fan base. The rest of you that don’t, and want me to play someone else’s game…I wish you well. Let’s just leave the subject at that and call it what it is: a mutual misunderstanding.

Fair-well old-friend.

The Best of DJ Shadow surely must be all the tracks of Entroducing with a second cd of B-sides from the 12″ (I think they were released on camel-bobsleigh too). These works are both based entirely on samples, by that I mean other peoples songs and sounds. Royalties for samples vary, but often a percentage of each song’s profits goes towards paying sample royalties – think of the 90’s with Paul’s Boutique being released and S’Express in the charts, these were the last bastions of a royalty free time. Today, if you want to use samples, you are gonna have to pay. Ergo, to make money, limit the amount of samples that you use. It is rumoured that Portishead lost so much of their royalties of Dummy to sample clearance that their follow-up LP contained only two samples, one of which was from an unreleased recording. Of course, Shadow’s later material started to use live sounds, from employing session musicians to MCs – possibly in an effort to create a more entertaining live-performance, or perhaps just a way around paying for samples.

Read the rest of his rant over at the DJ Shadow Blog and cheer him up by buying for Endtroducing here.
In fact, scrap that, go buy the latest Anvil album, those guys really deserve it.

I will leave you with this counter-quote from Brian Eno, keyboard player for Roxy Music and ambient pioneer,

I think records were just a little bubble through time and those who made a living from them for a while were lucky. There is no reason why anyone should have made so much money from selling records except that everything was right for this period of time. I always knew it would run out sooner or later. It couldn’t last, and now it’s running out. I don’t particularly care that it is and like the way things are going. The record age was just a blip. It was a bit like if you had a source of whale blubber in the 1840s and it could be used as fuel. Before gas came along, if you traded in whale blubber, you were the richest man on Earth. Then gas came along and you’d be stuck with your whale blubber. Sorry mate – history’s moving along. Recorded music equals whale blubber. Eventually, something else will replace it.

Read the interview with Eno here.

Oh and if you are still wondering why Hip-Hop sucked in ‘96… it’s the Money!

ps. Nomad Producers, please do not use DJ Shadow songs in your mixes, we are on his radar now!
Although feel free to create music using songs from artists such as Stezo, Lifer’s Group, Sparky Dee, Kool G. Rap, Masters of Ceremony, Jazzy Jay, Divine Sounds, Beastie Boys, Jeru the Damaja, Lexia, H.P. Riot, Jeremy Storch, Frankie Seay & The Soul Riders, Mort Garson, Sapo,T La Rock, Kurtis Blow, Pearly Queen, The Third Guitar, Jimmy Smith, Tony Avalon & The Belairs, The Troubleneck Brothers, Don Covay & the Lemon Blues Band, A Tribe Called Quest, Pigmeat Markham & the B.Y, DJ Grand Wizard Theodore, Creations Unlimited, Grandmaster Flash, HE 6, Motherlode, Embryo, Tangerine Dream, Chaffey College Jazz Ensemble, The Meters, Prince of Darkness, Kay Gardner, Loudon Wainwright III, Flying Island, The People’s People, Kraftwerk, Human Race, Nirvana, Giorgio Moroder, Dennis Linde, Meredith Monk, David Axelrod, Pekka Pohjola, Osanna, The Mystic Number National Bank, Gravediggaz, Björk, Pugh Rogefeldt, Roger Waters & Ron Geesin, Bill & Tim, Giorgio Moroder, The New Breed, Samson & Delilah, S.O.U.L, Akinyele, Baraka, Rotary Connection, Marlena Shaw, David Axelrod, Pekka Pohjola, Meredith Monk, Organized Konfusion, The Isley Brothers, T.Rex, Joann Garrett, Charles Bernstein, Billy Cobham, Top Priority, The Daly-Wilson Bigband, The Original Soul Senders, Shawn Phillips, David Young, The Alan Parsons Project, Growing Concern, The Heath Brothers, etc, etc (well you get the idea of that)

Image courtesy of Loan Sameli

Because sometimes an idea is so awesome, those cheeky monkeys in advertising turn them into bad commercials. Always the original far outweighs in awesomeness than the cruddy TV ads. Sometimes they even re-do them so badly that you just can’t watch the original without thinking of the product!

Who can seriously enjoy scrimping these days since the Honey Monster got in on the act? You wonder if these ad execs want to ruin it for all of us with their lame campaigns – and what’s to stop them? They already use skateboarding, ponies and boobs to sell everything to everyone…
Well fear no longer as crusaders from all around the world now have a platform to alert people of injustice! Men, women and kids of the world unite and read copy©unts.

Original :

Rip-off :

Shameless…

thats copy©unts people. copy©unts.