But these musical perverts were set for a disappointment – tickets range from a ridiculous £65 to a jaw-dropping, eye-popping, money-grabbing £175.

Of course, there are some complete idiots who will happily spend that kind of money to squint at a bizarrely-dressed woman who is reportedly so batshit crazy that she wouldn’t let her estranged husband eat meat pies in the house.

So – if you’ve got £175 quid burning a hole in your pocket, and you’re keen to see some live music, why not try these instead:

Go see Didsbury’s own The Durutti Column in March at the Deaf Institute for a tenner. You probably won’t get cabaret outfits, but you will get to see one of Manchester’s best bands play live.

Half Man Half Biscuit are playing tonight at Manchester Academy 1 – you couldn’t spend a more surreal £15 without involving jelly wrestling and giraffes.

Peter Bjorn and John at Academy 2 in March for £12.50. If you’re lucky they’ll whistle!

Late of The Pier are coming to the Academy in February for a bargain basement 9 pounds, if you fancy finding out what Da Kidz are listening to these days.

And finally, if you really have to see some cheesy MOR crap, on a  stage so far away you have to use opera glasses?

Then why not see the pop-star of the future before they’re rammed down your throat every time you turn on the TV by going to X Factor Live. You could always get pissed up and bring some rotten fruit to throw (*Nomad Radio does not endorse fruit-throwing and will not be liable for your arrest or any duffing up you get from the security guys in a back alley!) Stinking fruit, rancid music and violence, all for £28!

The mathematically inclined will notice that this only comes to £65 – what if you were planning to get the VIP £175 quid Madonna tickets?

Then buy a WowWee Chimpanzee Alive Animatronic Life Like Chimp with the money you have left over.

Or spend it on beer, fool!